September 15, 2026

Sex differences exert a significant and complex impact on ADHD symptoms, treatment, and risk of co-occurring conditions, according to the findings of several recent studies.

Most recently, researchers from Denmark found that individuals with ADHD faced relatively greater risk of developing 13 physical conditions, and that risk ratio was significantly affected by the sex of the patient.¹ Research on the impact of menstrual cycle hormones on ADHD symptoms further illuminated the notable influence of sex on ADHD symptomatology and impairment.² Finally, a study on the efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for adolescents with ADHD also revealed differences across the sex divide.

Sex Impacts Risk of Physical Conditions

People with ADHD demonstrate a higher risk for 13 physical conditions, including endocrine, metabolic, and eye conditions, according to a study that used medical records of more than 800,000 Danish individuals. The study, published in the Journal of Attention Disorders, found that individuals diagnosed with ADHD showed a higher risk for all conditions, apart from malignant neoplasms, beginning in adolescence.

Having an ADHD diagnosis did not raise this risk equally for men and women, however.

In the general population, females were at a higher risk of most physical conditions beginning in adolescence. Specifically, females were nine times more likely to have an endocrine, nutritional, or metabolic disorder beginning in young adulthood. However, when researchers measured rates in females with an ADHD diagnosis, the relative prevalence fell by half.

In another case, males in the general population had a 15% higher risk than females of developing eye and adnexa diseases in childhood. Among those with an ADHD diagnosis, though, this trend was reversed; females had double the risk of males.

Sex and Hormonal Fluctuations Impact Symptoms

One notable difference in ADHD presentations between males and females stems from fluctuating symptoms over the menstrual cycle. The impact of estrogen on ADHD has been a primary research focus for Michelle Martel, Ph.D., chair of the psychology department at the University of Kentucky, who wrote this in the ADDitude article “Hormonal Changes in Women with ADHD: 4 Gaping Holes in Research:” “Each menstrual cycle brings hormonal peaks and valleys that significantly influence ADHD symptoms. Our recent research confirms that anxiety, mood, and attention all worsen as estrogen falls during the luteal phase.”

Prompted by the promising findings of a small study in 2018,⁴ Martel conducted a larger-scale study on ADHD symptoms and menstrual hormones. She recently presented her findings at the U.S. Psychiatric and Mental Health Congress.

Martel’s team collected daily measurements of hormone levels and ADHD symptoms from 97 female college students with an ADHD diagnosis and found ADHD symptoms, including impulsivity and inattention, increased in the days preceding and beginning their period.

“These studies have dramatic assessment and treatment implications,” Martel stated in a press release. “We should be paying attention to these things when we’re doing assessments, and then also we may want to change our treatments or personalize our treatments based on where women and girls are across their lifespan.”

Sex Impacts Efficacy of Treatment

A third study exploring yet another facet of sex differences focused on the varying impact of CBT on adolescent males and females with ADHD. Data from 200 teens who participated in randomized control trials in Norway or the Netherlands was analyzed.

According to parent reports, CBT significantly improved ADHD symptoms generally, however this improvement varied depending on the patient’s sex as well as accompanying symptoms of depression.

• CBT led to a significantly smaller reduction in ADHD symptoms for girls with higher levels of depression symptoms, compared to boys with these symptoms.
• For girls, receiving individual CBT (versus group CBT), led to double the improvement in ADHD symptoms.

Each of these studies sheds light on the highly complex and variable nature of ADHD symptoms, treatment, and co-occurring conditions and the still poorly understood ways in which sex differences may affect these realms.

Sources

¹Villumsen, M. D., Bilenberg, N., & Steinhausen, H.-C. (2026). Sex Differences in the Association Between Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Physical Diseases in Childhood and Adolescence Using Nationwide Birth Cohorts. Journal of Attention Disorders, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547261448260/

²Harper K. How menstrual periods can affect ADHD symptoms and treatment. Scientific American. May 2026. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/adhd-symptoms-can-fluctuate-with-the-menstrual-cycle/

³Hanes, T. K., Andersen, A. C., Boyer, B. E., & Wagner, K. (2026). Gender Differences in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Outcomes for Adolescents With ADHD: Examining the Impact of Internalizing Symptoms. Journal of Attention Disorders, 30(7), 945-954. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547251415431

⁴Roberts B, Eisenlohr-Moul T, Martel MM. Reproductive steroids and ADHD symptoms across the menstrual cycle. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2018;88:105-114. doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2017.11.015.

Everybody’s a critic — or, at least, it can feel that way when you or your child has ADHD.

Between judgmental family members, clueless acquaintances, and pushy friends, it can feel like a daily bombardment of negative comments for ADHD-fueled behavior that is misunderstood. With emotional dysregulation thrown into the mix, the stage is set for a fiery reaction — which only fuels the cycle.

So, we asked ADDitude readers for their tried-and-true responses to unsolicited advice, unhelpful feedback, and unkind commentary on ADHD symptoms or behaviors. Though they vary widely in tone and approach, each response sets a boundary, serving as a small but powerful moment of advocacy. The next time an ill-informed and opinionated bystander offers a rude remark, try one of these ideas:

[Read: Coping With the Stigma of ADHD]

“To family members, I say: ‘Wow, not sure that was helpful — if you were intending to be.’” — Kristin

“‘My way is the right way for me.’ It took a long time to come to this understanding, but this is what I tell anyone who has an opinion on something I am doing that they think is ‘wrong.’ It’s been life-changing.” — Beth, Colorado

“‘It’s just how his brain works. What enables him to write music so beautifully and easily also makes the everyday stuff hard.’” — LeeAnne, Alabama

“I’m tired of hearing from teachers that my kid just needs to try harder. I’ve started retorting that that’s like asking a sight impaired person to just try harder to see.” — Sarah, Ontario

[Read: Don’t Mistake Your Child’s ADHD Symptoms for Bad Behavior]

“Often teachers will say a mildly positive thing right before a lot of criticism about behavior, (‘He’s a good kid but…’). I respond by emphasizing that positive thing in my response (‘You’re right he is a good kid, even with all his struggles. Thank you for noticing.’” — Casey, Texas

“He’s having a rough day, but he tries his best.” — Coleen, New York  

“I say, ‘I’ve found this works best, but thanks for your concern.’’” — Karen, New York

“When my family gets a bit too pushy, I’ve said: ‘I’ll take that into consideration,’ or ‘His doctor is already aware and not concerned.’” — Jenn, Iowa

“I cite a positive quality my son has, then add that he is learning to manage his challenges. I say nothing else except, ‘I appreciate your understanding.’”  — An ADDitude Reader

“‘Nobody gets to choose their brain types. We have to just focus on taking care of the one God gave us!’” — An ADDitude Reader

How to Handle Criticism: Next Steps

• Learn: Unscolicited Advice for ADHD Families – How to Respond
• Watch: ADHD Kids Are Awesome – Penn & Kim Holderness on Brain Differences
• Read: ADHD Pride – Inspiration from Our Favorite Role Models

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

Q: “I’m trying to teach my kids mindfulness techniques to quiet their busy ADHD brains, but I get lots of resistance, or I hear, ‘That’s so boring.’ How can I counter this?”

Mindfulness is cognitive fitness training that aims to build real-time and compassionate awareness of our lives. It is an antidote to remaining lost in distraction. Getting kids engaged with mindfulness requires meeting them where they are in their development. Try to make the practice familiar first, rather than expecting intense practice. That often means letting go of common mindfulness misconceptions.

The Value of Building Self-Awareness

Encouraging a child to try mindfulness starts with developing our own practice. We act as role models by normalizing meditation and by demonstrating that practicing mindfulness doesn’t mean trying to stop thoughts or bad feelings. Instead, it’s about learning to relate to whatever is happening in our lives with a sense of clarity, patience, and care.

[Free Download: Mindfulness Techniques for Stronger School Focus]

With teens, it works to frame practice around their adolescent experience. They may be old enough to understand the value of building concentration or making room for self-compassion to quiet their inner critic. I find that teens are more receptive to mindfulness when they learn about it from peers, coaches, athletes, or even online influencers.

For younger kids, instead of explaining the deeper concepts of mindfulness, engage in play that builds related skills. For example, focusing awareness on the sound of a woodpecker or the scent of a blossom while outdoors. Your child’s bedtime routine may include a short body scan that encourages them to relax from their toes to their forehead, without asking for complete stillness. Try to balance your efforts with lightness and laughter, since meditation can seem, well, boring.

Mindfulness is not about shutting down our minds or staying unflappably calm. Initially, it is more about building awareness and patience. If you’re distracted, frustrated, or even very, very bored, you’re giving yourself permission to take a few minutes to sustain awareness of that experience without immediately acting on it. As you develop this powerful skill over time, it fosters resilience and growth and helps you move away from reactive or impulsive behaviors.

Mindfulness for Kids with ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Easy Mindfulness Exercises for Kids with ADHD
• Read: Bite-Sized Mindfulness for Kids
• Read: 6 Emotional Regulation Activities for Creative Kids with Big Feelings

Mark Bertin, M.D., is a developmental pediatrician in Pleasantville, New York.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

Q: “My 14-year-old daughter’s time management is awful. I’ve provided watches, timers, calendars, planners, and alarms, but she still doesn’t wake up for school on her own. She forgets about homework, or she takes an insanely long time to do it. What should I do?”

Executive function skills, like time management, develop unpredictably in kids who have ADHD. Your daughter may be 14, but her time-management skills are probably more like those of an 11-year-old. To gauge her skill level, ask: What is her experience of time? How does she feel time? How does she regulate herself around time?

You’re offering great tools, but they’re not sticking. What is it about these tools that doesn’t resonate with your daughter?

[Webinar replay: “Beat The Clock: Time Estimation and Management Help for Students with ADHD” ]

The ADHD brain often resists waking up in the morning, and that has to do with issues related to norepinephrine and, sometimes, sleep disorders. It’s just remarkably hard to get up and out of bed.

If she has an alarm next to her, and an alarm across the room, and she is still in bed snoozing, it’s time to step in and say, “Okay, let’s work on this together.”

Effective time management requires seeing the time horizon and accurately answering the question, “How long is this actually going to take?” If something is not due immediately, and there isn’t pressure, the ADHD brain tends to think: “That is so far away. I don’t need to take care of that now.” This leads to procrastination, and then last-minute rushing.

I would want to know: Is there an area where your daughter manages time successfully? Is she slow to get up, but knows how long it takes to walk to a friend’s house? What are the conditions contributing to that, and how can you apply those to other areas of life?

[Self-Test: Could You Have an Executive Function Deficit?]

Faulty or inconsistent time management may lead to shame and wondering: Why can other people do this and I can’t? It’s important to remember that, if your daughter could do better, she would. She just doesn’t know how to — yet.

Keep offering her supports because they will stick with repetition, experience, and development. Be patient and consistent as you collaborate with her on improving one aspect of this struggle at a time — together.

How to Wake Yourself Up: Next Steps

• Download: Free Sample Schedules for Reliable Routines
• Read: Sleep Problems in Teens with ADHD: Causes and Solutions
• Read: When Time Turns Upside Down: How to Teach Kids Time Management
• Q: My Tween Fights Waking Up Every Single Morning

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist and author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew: Working Together to Empower Kids for Success in School and Life (#CommissionsEarned).

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

It’s normal for children to avoid annoying tasks like cleaning their room. But what about avoiding a casual invitation for ice cream, a greeting (with the expectation of a reply), or even the body’s signals that it needs the bathroom? These can be signs of pathological demand avoidance (PDA), which causes people to go to great lengths to resist, evade, or ignore everything they perceive to be a demand.

PDA is not a formal diagnosis. It is often discussed in relation to autism and other forms of neurodivergence. Often mistaken for willful defiance, PDA is more productively viewed as a nervous system difference shaped by anxiety and rooted in an overwhelming need for autonomy.

For these reasons, many prefer calling PDA a “pervasive drive for autonomy.”

Life’s Everyday Demands

For people with PDA, “demands” include direct orders, like “Wash your hands,” and questions such as, “Want to watch a movie?” People with PDA also struggle to meet self-imposed or internal demands – eating a meal, taking a shower, engaging in a hobby, or even talking. Avoidance can be evoked by enjoyable activities, too: A child might look forward to a birthday party or a vacation for weeks and still find it hard to participate when the day arrives.

Beyond refusal, children with PDA may use strategies like these to delay or avoid demands:

• Distraction and diversion (e.g., changing the subject)
• Role-playing (e.g., pretending to be an animal that “can’t do human things”)
• Negotiation and bargaining (e.g., “I’ll pick up my toys if you make my favorite food.”)
• Physical and functional avoidance (e.g., “My legs don’t work!”)
• Yelling, meltdowns, or becoming non-verbal.

Some strategies are so subtle that it takes years to recognize them as patterns of demand avoidance.

[Take This Self-Test: Is Your Child Showing Signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance?]

What Gives Rise to PDA?

PDA most often develops in people with a highly sensitive, easily activated nervous system.

• Sensory processing differences. Many people are deeply empathetic and easily absorb the emotions around them. Filtering environmental stimuli can be difficult, and processing sensory input requires great time and energy. These differences can make everyday environments exhausting and overwhelming.
• High anxiety. Challenges in navigating social interactions, difficulty predicting what comes next, and stress around uncertainty make anxiety a core part of the PDA experience. A strong need for control often serves to manage worry.

Taken together, these factors mean that a PDA nervous system is primed to perceive any limit to autonomy and control as a threat, which can trigger a fight-flight-freeze response expressed as avoidance.

People with PDA may share the following traits and experiences as well:

• Hidden social challenges. People with PDA often crave social interaction and may demonstrate surface-level communication skills, yet still struggle with social dynamics and relationships.
• Rapid mood shifts and impulsivity, likely related to hypervigilance, sensitivity, and intense emotions. They may appear dominating and controlling when anxious, and confident and engaging when they feel secure and in control.
• Fluctuating capacity. A child may easily manage a task or situation one day but not the next.
• Differences across settings. A child may seem fine at school yet show extreme demand avoidance and be dysregulated at home.
• Indifference to hierarchy. Social expectations about deference or rank may not carry weight.
• Intense or persistent focus (often on other people). For example, a child may fixate on a classmate and try to prevent them from playing with others.

[Read: The Parents’ Guide to Dismantling Oppositional, Defiant Behavior]

Oppositional Defiant Disorder vs. PDA

Supporting Demand-Avoidant Children

Supporting a child with PDA is less about quick strategies and more about a mindset shift that respects their sensitive nervous system.

• Teach self-advocacy. Help them to better understand themselves and their needs, and how to find the language to ask for what they need.
• Offer as much autonomy as possible to build trust and reduce anxiety. For example:
  • Offer choices for breakfast. “We have cereal, toast, or yogurt. What sounds good?”
  • Let them set the order of their bedtime routine – perhaps reading first, then pajamas.
  • Have them plan their routines and give them a say in what matters.
• Use indirect language. Instead of “Put on your winter coat,” try “That snow looks cold.” Helpful sentence starters include:
  • I wonder…
  • I notice…
  • I imagine…
  • I’m thinking…
• Keep a sense of humor to ease tension. If they’re resisting getting dressed, use a silly voice: “The shirt monsters are going to gobble you up! Quick, hide inside this sweater!”
• Consider tradeoffs. Help the task make sense to your child so it seems worth their energy and stress. Skip daily bed-making or let them wear the same outfit multiple days in a row if it helps them cope.
• Focus on repair and growth over consequences. If your child hurts a sibling’s feelings or breaks a toy, consider repair – drawing a picture, baking cookies, or helping to fix the toy – rather than taking away a tablet.
• Truly get to know your child. When children feel trusted and understood, challenging behaviors decrease. Join them in their interests; validate their experiences. Show them how you remain composed and tolerate distress because kids with PDA feel more calm around people with regulated nervous systems.

Diane Gould is a founder and executive director of PDA North America. The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Don’t Tell Me What to Do: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Neurodivergent Kids” [Video Replay & Podcast #590] with Diane Gould, which was broadcast on Dec. 16, 2025.

Pathological Demand Avoidance: Next Steps

• Read: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Pathological Demand Avoidance
• Report: High Stress, Ineffective Interventions Worsen PDA
• Read: Defiance, Defused — a Roadmap to Radical Behavior Change
  

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

When a child is struggling emotionally, academically, or behaviorally, parents often feel like they’re drowning in a sea of other people’s strategies and opinions. In a world full of quick fixes, parent coaching offers something much more powerful: a steady hand, active listening, and a reliable process that meets families where they are.

To understand a child’s brain, I ask caregivers to look beneath the surface and consider these questions: What’s really going on? What skills are still developing? How can you bring calm, compassion, and connection into your parenting?

When the grownups shift their approach and learn to respond with clarity and compassion, rather than fear or frustration, kids begin to shift too. It’s not magic; it’s the brain-based guidance grounded in science and deep empathy. This approach creates a ripple effect that reaches every corner of a child’s life.

[Read: Your Positive Parenting Toolkit Has Arrived]

Relationships improve. Emotional reactivity decreases. Executive functioning skills begin to grow in a truly supportive environment.

Here are some common scenarios that cause conflict, and examples of how approaches embedded in parent coaching can make a difference in your child’s life.

The Homework Challenge

A 10-year-old child refuses to start their homework, despite repeated reminders and consequences.

Before coaching:

The parent, frustrated, takes away screen time. The child doubles down on refusing to do their homework.

[Read: Your Emotionally Reactive Child Needs Empathy — Not Punishment]

After coaching:

The parent knows that homework time is when their child shuts down, but instead of assuming they’re being defiant, the parent pauses and thinks: What might be going on in my child’s brain right now? Are they overwhelmed? Do they know how to start?

The parent takes a breath, sits down next to their child, and says, “I can see that it’s hard to get started on this. Want to look at it together and figure out the first step?”

When parents stay calm and curious, instead of reactive, they see that it helps their child stay in the game emotionally. It helps parents feel more in control as well.

The Morning Meltdown

An 8-year-old has a full breakdown every morning – crying, refusing to get dressed, missing the bus.

Before coaching:

The parent tries different tactics each day – threatening, pleading, bribing – and ends up either carrying the child to the car or starting the day in tears themselves.

After coaching:

The parent understands that transitions are genuinely hard for kids with ADHD. Instead of reacting to the behavior, they write out the steps of the morning routine, hang them on the wall for the child to see, give a 10-minute warning before each step, and keep their voice calm and steady. Some days are still hard, but the meltdowns become less frequent, and the parent stops dreading mornings.

Every Action is a Battle

A 12-year-old responds to almost every request with eye rolls, arguments, or flat-out refusal.

Before coaching:

The parent escalates by raising their voice, threatening consequences, and issuing ultimatums. The child digs in harder.

After coaching:

The parent learns to choose moments wisely and approach requests differently. Instead of, “You need to clean your room right now,” they say: “I need the room picked up before dinner. Do you want to work for 10 minutes now or after your snack?” The child, given some sense of control, is far more likely to comply. The parent stops fighting for power and starts building cooperation.

Parent Coaching and ADHD Training: Next Steps

• Read: 19 Authoritative Parenting Tips for Raising Neurodivergent Children
• Watch: The Power of Behavioral Parent Training for ADHD
• Read: Help! My Kid’s Having an ADHD Meltdown in Target

Cindy Goldrich, Ed.M., is the author of 8 Keys to Parenting Children with ADHD.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

“I’m sorry, but your child just doesn’t care about doing well.”

This was the middle school teacher’s only response when I asked her for ideas and suggestions to help my child with ADHD, who was struggling to turn in assignments in this particular class. My child did care about doing well but was having a hard time figuring out how to follow the system. And right to my face, the system was showing me how unforgiving and unhelpful it could be.

Despite her unfavorable conclusion about my child, I explained to the teacher that my child has ADHD, that all children want to do well, and that I wanted to work collaboratively to help my child figure out and outsmart obstacles at school. I thought to myself that if more teachers understood ADHD challenges, these prickly encounters between teacher, student, and parent could significantly diminish.

Thanks, in part, to this encounter, I decided to enroll in a graduate program to become a school psychologist. I began my studies with a thesis topic already in mind: teaching teachers about ADHD.

I had a hunch that teachers’ experiences in the classroom could also improve with education about ADHD. So I designed a study that would examine teachers’ knowledge of ADHD, as well as their self-perception of their teaching abilities. The research, and the findings that preceded it, were eye-opening.

Student and Teacher Challenges in the Classroom When ADHD Is Present

This should come as no surprise to anyone: Studies have found that the school setting intensifies ADHD symptoms. This is, in part, due to behavior expectations in the classroom and challenges in relationships at school. Students describe school as a place that leaves them “frustrated, angry, drained, and/or imprisoned.”¹

[Free! The ADHD Learning Series for Educators]

Similarly, teachers tend to have a hard time with ADHD behaviors. One study found that 63% of teachers reported stress when interacting with students exhibiting ADHD behaviors and 80% found it challenging to teach students with ADHD behaviors.²

But let’s not jump to blame the teachers. When I was designing my study in 2021, I looked at the top 10 general education teacher training programs in the United States and found no classes on ADHD. Within those programs, only a few classes focused more broadly on disability or special needs.³

While disheartening, this finding also increased my empathy toward teachers. In fairness, if teachers have not received any training on ADHD, how can they be expected to know what to do when inattention, hyperactivity, and executive functioning challenges come waltzing (or steamrolling) into the room?

Of course a teacher who has received no formal education about this population of students with unique needs is going to feel and act stressed.

[Read: Only 4 in 10 Educators Receive ADHD Training]

But there’s a glimmer of hope: In that same study and others, teachers reported that they wanted more information about ADHD, including how to manage students with ADHD.³

Even though I’m still annoyed at the teacher who said my child doesn’t care about doing well (yes, I can hold a grudge), it became clear to me that teachers aren’t the villains.

Teacher Self-Efficacy and ADHD

Armed with this knowledge, I set out to see how two groups of middle school teachers would be impacted if they participated in an ADHD workshop. Prior to the workshops, I asked teachers to take a survey measuring ADHD knowledge and teacher self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is the teacher’s own belief that they can help even the most difficult students.⁴

Teachers were then asked to take the same survey within five days of finishing the ADHD workshop. The results of the surveys suggested that my hunch was correct. Not only did knowledge about ADHD improve, but the results found that teacher self-efficacy showed a small increase following the workshop as well. Simply put, teachers felt better about their ability to teach once they had participated in a workshop about ADHD.

Why is this important? Teachers’ perceived effectiveness is related to how they work toward the success of their students in their classrooms. Teacher self-efficacy determines whether a teacher will continue with a difficult situation and how long they will continue trying when they are confronted with obstacles.⁵ It’s true that ADHD behaviors can be challenging, so it makes sense that teacher self-efficacy would increase alongside understanding about and strategies for those behaviors.

Teachers’ Attitudes About Students With ADHD

Another exciting result from my study was that attitudes about students with ADHD improved after taking the workshop. Results from the pre- and post-intervention surveys indicated a statistically significant decrease in negative attitudes and increase in positive attitudes about ADHD after the workshop.

Prior to the workshop, teachers responded in the following ways to this prompt, “Children who have ADHD affect the teaching process in the following ways:”

• “They can be disruptive and it can be hard to manage the disruptions.”
• “Can make it hard to manage the class as a whole if they are being overly disruptive.”
• “Can impact the pacing of the lesson and draw unnecessary attention to themselves.”
• “By distracting other students’ learning.”

Following the workshop, some teachers still shared that students with ADHD are distracting, but they added a level of positivity and empathy that did not exist earlier:

• “Can be distracting but also add to depth of learning.”
• “Distract other students and can come up with great ideas and connections.”
• “Cause distractions, sometimes add insight.”

Additionally, following the workshop, teachers noted that students with ADHD help teachers improve their teaching:

• “Make the teacher more deliberate and better.”
• “They encourage me to think on my feet and vary lessons in order to keep everyone interested and learning.”
• “Provide greater detail and clarification which helps the whole class.”
• “Expand possibilities for differentiated instruction, require targeting multiple senses, diversify the lessons we teach, the way we partition information.”
• “Help teachers build character.”
• “They make the classroom diverse and interesting because we do fun things to increase engagement.”

I found it heartwarming that teachers also noticed both the reality of ADHD challenges as well as the strengths of students with ADHD. For example, in response to the prompt “Children with ADHD are…”, respondents shared these comments after the workshop:

• “Still trying their best to be successful.”
• “Kids who may need more support at school but also have their own personality traits that are awesome.”
• “Capable of learning and behaving appropriately with behavior modification and medication (if necessary).”
• “Intelligent, fun, caring, and they truly want to do the right things.”
• “Creative, resourceful, and whole, and benefit from supportive accountability.”

What do these findings mean for caregivers, teachers, and administrators? While there will always be prickly teachers like the one who set me on a new career path, most teachers want to understand kids with ADHD. And that’s thrilling to understand.

We can all make significant changes for students and teachers by sharing about ADHD. Here are some ideas.

• Share this self-guided course about ADHD with your child’s teachers.
• Parents can approach school conversations expecting that teachers are eager to learn about their child’s unique, ADHD-specific challenges and accompanying strengths. This can ease any tension beforehand.
• Parents and teachers can ask the principal for in-service training about ADHD.
• Parents can share this article with a principal and/or teacher.

ADHD Training for Teachers: Next Steps

• Read: All Brains Are Beautiful
• Read: How to Create a Classroom Built on Respect
• Read: “How Educators’ Implicit Bias Stifles Neurodivergent Learners”

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

Sources

¹ Gwernan-Jones, R., Moor, D. A., Cooper, P., Russell, A. E., Richardson, M., Rogers, M., Thompson-Coon, J., Stein, K., Ford, T. J., & Garside, R. (2016). A systematic review and synthesis of qualitative research: the influence of school context on symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties, 21(1), 83–100. https://doi.org/10.1080/13632752.2015.1120055

² Yarde-Leavett, C. (2018). Teachers’ knowledge of and attitudes towards ADHD in the Western Cape. [Master’s Thesis, University of Cape Town South Africa]. http://www.psychology.uct.ac.za/sites/default/files/image_tool/images/117/Logos/thesis/ Claire% 20Yarde-Leavett% 20Thesis

³ US News. (2021). Best curriculum and instruction programs. US News. https://www.usnews.com/best-graduate-schools/top-education-schools/curriculuminstruction-ranking

⁴ Berman, P., McLaughlin, M., Bass, G., Pauly, E., & Zellman, G. (1977). Federal programs supporting educational change. Vol. VII: Factors affecting implementation and continuation. Santa Monica, CA: RAND. http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED140432.pdf

⁵Bandura, A. (1978). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Advances in Behaviour Research and Therapy, 1(4), 139–161. https://doi.org/10.1016/0146- 6402(78)90002-4.

Q: “My 7th grader with ADHD and autism was suspended from school numerous times last year. He hates school and saw the suspensions as a reward. How can I prevent this from happening this year?”

As someone who has worked in a school for 15 years, I know that this is tough. Consequences must exist for breaking rules, but, often, kids want to be home, and so school suspension is not a punishment or deterrent. Having them stay at home, where they have access to the things they want, is not going to teach them a lesson, nor will it make them want to go back to school

I recommend talking to the teacher, counselor, or school administrators and asking them to consider alternative consequences. Perhaps they could enforce a logical consequence tied to the negative behavior or choice your son made in school. This would be more clear and impactful than simply sending him home.

If administrators are not willing to make exceptions or adjustments to school policies, that may be a sign that your child doesn’t belong at that school. Educators should be willing to have this conversation, and more schools need to consider replacing knee-jerk suspension policies with more logical consequences.

[On-Demand Webinar: School Avoidance & Refusal Strategies for Parents and Educators]

Q: “My college student with ADHD has been avoiding going to class. How can I help them?”

First, make sure you understand the reason for this behavior. Is your student skipping class due to poor executive functioning, anxiety over taking notes, trouble studying for exams, or something else? If the root cause is academic, many colleges offer support for kids who have ADHD and learning challenges, but these supports are not always known to the students. When I work with families or students in college, I always advise them to research those resources.

As school begins, I urge students to self-advocate by meeting with the accessibility office and asking how they can get support. If taking lecture notes overwhelms a student, for example, many colleges offer note-taking and tutoring programs, as well as writing assistance.

Once you’ve identified the problem, encourage your student to investigate available supports and pursue the ones that can clear the runway for learning.

Suspended from School: Next Steps

• Read: “Help! My Child Won’t Go to School”
• Read: When Emotions Hijack Learning
• Download: Solving Challenges in the Classroom
• Sign Up: ADHD @ School — A Free 10-Part Class for Parents

Alana Cooperman, LCSW, is a senior social worker at the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

If your child’s teachers are patient, kind, and supportive, consider it a gift – because far too many neurodivergent students are met with criticism, frustration, or misunderstanding in the classroom.

When ADDitude asked readers if they’d ever dealt with a teacher who clearly didn’t like their child, we received hundreds of responses. And, sadly, two-thirds of caregivers reported that their child had indeed experienced this.

Here are some of their stories – and signs of the scars that lingered long after the school year ended.

[Read: “My Teacher Hates Me!”]

“I spoke with the teacher several times about my son’s neurodivergent needs, and she told me that he needed to ‘get over it’. His grades sank and he lost all motivation to learn the content because he felt targeted.”
— Stephanie, Wisconsin

“Her kindergarten teacher kept mentioning issues she had with sitting still, staying on task, etc. I thought to myself, ‘She’s 5.’ When I asked if she thought my daughter might have ADHD, knowing little about it, she said, ‘No, it seems to just be a behavioral issue.’ Well, duh! ADHD manifests as behavioral problems!”
— Cecil, Minnesota

“[The teacher] kept repeating how quirky (so tired of hearing this one) my child was. She always seemed surprised if my child did well with anything. My child sensed it. I was transparent with my child that her teacher had some weird ideas and that, while we should be kind to her, we shouldn’t take those ideas seriously.”
— Catherine, United Kingdom

“My 9th grade neurodivergent son shut down during a test. The teacher wasn’t able to redirect him, so she pulled my 11th grade neurotypical daughter from class (they went to the same school) and told her to speak with him. My daughter was very embarrassed for her brother, which made things worse. The teacher said very loudly to my son, ‘You’re so lazy. Even your own sister can’t help you.'”
— Nicole, Delaware

[Read: 4 Secrets to More Positive Teacher-Student Relationships]

“My nephew, who has ADHD, had a primary school teacher who bullied him quite badly. It made some of the children in class upset, too, and they told my sister and her husband about it. My nephew has low self-confidence, guilt, and shame left over from that.”
— ADDitude reader, United Kingdom

“This happened two years ago. It affected my child’s learning, exacerbated his anxiety, and affected his social life. He’s in the midst of an evaluation, and the neuropsychologist reports he has some PTSD from this. The following year the teacher loved him – and it was amazing.”
— Rachel, Rhode Island

“A coach talked down to my daughter and ridiculed her for being different and not meeting her standards for social acceptance. I spoke to the coach about my daughter’s social struggles and her severe ADHD. It made no difference. She was ignorant about the challenges of being neurodivergent. I fully pulled my daughter from the team, as the coach caused her to feel shame and embarrassment. When someone really doesn’t get it, it’s best to remove your child from the situation and look for a more positive environment.”
— Valerie, California

“Before we started homeschooling, my oldest child had a teacher who said she was just lazy. I knew this couldn’t be farther from the truth. That this teacher couldn’t see that my child couldn’t stay on task despite trying their hardest made me angry. I made sure my child knew that we knew that the teacher was just wrong. That year we had her evaluated, but, even when we got an ADHD diagnosis, this teacher was skeptical. We were glad to leave that school. Now my bright high schooler advocates well for herself and others who are neurodivergent. I’m so proud of her.”
— Sarah, Canada

Teacher Bullying Students: Next Steps

• Read: 9 Mean Teacher Comments Every Student with ADHD Knows Too Well
• Read: Be That Teacher Who Breaks Through
• Read: The ADHD Misconceptions That Stifle Students

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Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

“It’s heartbreaking to know your child feels disliked our singled out by their teacher. Maybe the teacher doesn’t understand ADHD and misinterprets inattention and impulsivity as willful disregard. Or perhaps they mistake difficulty following directions, switching tasks, or sitting still for defiance.

Whatever the scenario, feeling disliked in the classroom is awful — and more common than you might think. According to a recent poll, 65% of ADDitude readers said they’ve dealt with a teacher who clearly didn’t like their child or teen with ADHD.

So what’s the best way to encourage understanding and empathy from a teacher who’s waving red flags? Here, ADHD parenting experts offer their advice.

[Read: How to Mend a Broken Relationship with Your Child’s School]

Cheryl Chase, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment of ADHD, learning disorders, and other conditions.

Make Them Feel Heard & Seen

When a child feels disliked by a teacher, the first step is validation. Let the student know their feelings are worth exploring: “It sounds like you’re feeling dismissed or misunderstood. That’s hard, and I’m here to help you think it through.” When adults acknowledge what a child is experiencing, it protects against deeper harm, like long-term anxiety or self-doubt.

I saw this firsthand with my son in fourth grade. He and his teacher were a poor match, and the dynamic left him feeling confused and ashamed. That hear, he developed stomach pains and began to withdraw. It wasn’t an easy school year for me either — more than once, I had to stop myself from coming in too heavy as the protective “momma bear.” It took restraint and trust in the long game.

The following year, with a different teacher, my boy flourished. Later, in eighth grade, he asked to volunteer in that fourth-grade classroom as a quiet way to reclaim the experience and to demonstrate that he was okay. That taught me this: Not all stressful situations are traumatic. Weith time, support (perhaps via therapy), and perspective, children can process difficult experiences, make sense of them, and integrate them into their story in a way that builds resilience.

[Read: How to Advocate for Better Teacher Training on ADHD]

My son, now age 26, told me recently that that experience forced him to learn how to be simultaneously angry and respectful – something he practices almost daily as an adult. Who knew what seeds were being planted back then?

Invite Collaboration

Children do well if they can, Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., reminds us, and the same is true for educators. Sometimes, what looks like rigidity or rejection is really a gap in understanding, training, or bandwidth. As a psychologist, I encourage families to begin the school year with a letter introducing themselves as their child. Share what works, what tends to trigger frustration, and how you’ve learned to support regulation and engagement. Frame it as a partnership: “We’re on the same team, and we’re looking forward to collaborating with you.”

If struggles persist, parents can offer resources – a book, a website, a training – or request a meeting with the teacher and the school psychologist or another professional who can help fill in gaps and increase empathy. Educating the educator doesn’t mean criticizing. It means inviting them into a fuller understanding of the child in front of them.

Ross W. Green, Ph.D., author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, is a clinical psychologist who developed the evidence-based Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model of intervention.

Share ADHD Insights

If a teacher is acting in a manner that suggests that they don’t like a child, there’s probably a fair amount of frustration in the mix. What might the teacher be frustrated about? Probably the fact that despite the teacher’s best efforts, a student is still having difficulty meeting certain expectations, whether that’s sitting still, remaining quiet during instruction times, raising a hand before responding in class discussions, or getting started on or completing certain assignments.

So what to do? The first question I’d ask is whether the teacher is aware of the student’s ADHD diagnosis. If they aren’t, they need to be. If they are, we should make sure the teacher understands how ADHD symptoms may impair the student’s capacity to meet some school expectations. There’s really no sense in saddling a student with expectations that we already know they can’t reliably meet.

Next, we’d want to make sure the teacher knows how to address those impairments collaboratively (with the full involvement of the student) and proactively (not in the heat-of-the-moment).

Recalibrate Treatment

I would also want to know if the child is currently being medicated for their ADHD, and, if so, whether the medication is having the desired effect. If not, that’s something to bring to the prescriber. I’d also want to acknowledge that the teacher probably isn’t the only person who’s frustrated in this scenario; the student is probably plenty frustrated too.

Sharon Saline, Psy.D., is a therapist and the author of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew.

Prioritize Transparency & Transformation

Discuss your child’s challenges with their teacher and offer insights about their behavior. You could say: “When he looks away, he’s still listening. It helps if you give a quick tap on his desk before giving instructions.”

Ask your child to notice what they feel when they become dysregulated in class. Usually, kids will say, “My face feels hot,” or “I get a knot in my stomach.” What are the situations that upset them and the actions that soothe them? Share this information with their teacher, and prompt your child to take a break when these red flags appear.

Ask your child’s teacher about the best ways to communicate proactively and to reframe misunderstanding. Suggest that the teacher introduce a “take-back of the day” for minor behaviors and foibles. This helps educators, coaches, and other adults in your child’s life emphasize self-reflection and growth over perfection.

We want to teach our kids to say to themselves, “recalculating,” like a GPS says after a driver makes a wrong turn. This builds emotional safety and helps them notice progress.

Cindy Goldrich, Ed.M., is an ADHD and executive function coach.

Approach with Curiosity

When a child says, “My teacher doesn’t like me,” avoid jumping in to defend the teacher or to confirm your child’s fear. As your child open-ended questions to better understand what’s been happening and how they’re interpreting it.

You might way, “It sounds like you don’t feel understood or supported. Let’s talk about how we can help your teacher get to know you better.” This approach encourages your child to reflect and problem-solve, while also planting the seeds of self-advocacy. They can begin learning how to express their needs – what helps them focus, the situations that they find frustrating, or how they’d like to be treated. Just as important, they learn that adults have a responsibility to listen and adjust too.

When I train teachers, I remind them that every child has a story behind their behavior. Helping children name their experience and see support is not only empowering; it builds the lifelong skills they’ll need to navigate future relationships and challenges with clarity, courage, and self-respect.

Resolving Conflict with Teachers: Next Steps

• Read: 7 Reasons Why You Need to Advocate More Than Other Parents
• Q&A: How to Talk to Teachers About Your Child’s ADHD – Scripts and Tips
• Read: Advocating for My Child – One Mom’s Learning Curve

Carole Fleck is Editor-in-Chief at ADDitude magazine.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

Q: Should I push my child, who has ADHD, to take an AP class to help them get into college when it just means more dopamine-draining work?

Many students with ADHD are highly successful when they are engaged in subjects that genuinely interest them. If the curricula in Advanced Placement (AP) or International Baccalaureate (IB) courses align with their passions and strengths, they may thrive in more rigorous and intellectually stimulating environments.

The opposite, however, can also occur. When students are not engaged by the material, they may procrastinate on assignments, struggle to initiate tasks, or begin to self-sabotage out of frustration, overwhelm, or disinterest.

The goal should always be to set up our kids for success. Start by asking them: “Are you excited by the curriculum at your school? Would you like to explore IB programs or specific AP courses?” Giving students opportunities to visit programs, review coursework, and learn more about the expectations can help them make informed decisions about what feels motivating and manageable.

If they take IB or AP courses and the workload becomes mentally depleting rather than enriching after a semester or a year, it is okay to re-evaluate and pivot. Having a “plan B” in place can help students feel supported rather than trapped.

[Could Your Child Have an Executive Function Deficit? Take This Symptoms Test]

Most importantly, any decision to step away from an AP or IB program should never be framed as a failure. It may simply mean that the environment was not the best fit for their learning style, needs, or long-term goals.

There are many pathways to college success, and students do not need a schedule full of AP or IB courses to gain admission to a good school. We want our children to arrive at college still curious, confident, and emotionally healthy, not academically burned out before they even begin.

Q: ”Can online colleges be a good fit for students with ADHD?”

For some students with ADHD, online learning can be an excellent option. It offers flexibility, independence, and autonomy, especially with asynchronous learning formats that allow students to work at their own pace. It may reduce social anxiety in students who feel overwhelmed in large classroom settings.

There can also be downsides. While flexibility can be beneficial, it may also reduce opportunities to strengthen skills such as time management, organization, and social engagement. Without the built-in structure of attending classes in person, some students with ADHD may struggle with procrastination, focus, or maintaining routines.

[Free Download: College Readiness Checklist for Students with ADHD]

In-person classroom settings better suit some students with ADHD because they provide greater structure, routine, and accountability. They also create opportunities for connection with professors and peers, which can help with engagement, motivation, and social development.

As students begin to explore college, a hybrid approach – taking two courses in person and two online – may show a student which environment works best for them.

AP Classes & Academic Rigor: Next Steps

• Free Download: Free Guide to Securing ADHD Accommodations in College
• Read: College Application Timeline – a Grade-by-Grade Guide
• Watch: “Beyond Grades & Test Scores: An Action Plan for ADHD Students to Shine After High School”
• Read: The College Readiness Checklist for Teens with ADHD
• Hub: ADHD in College

Jillian Lillibridge Heilman, Ph.D., CRC, is the former director of Student Accessibility Services at Connecticut College.

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Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

There are more than 2,400 four-year colleges in the United States. As an admissions officer with 30 years of experience, I can say with certainty that there is a college for everyone. From Ivy Leagues to state universities to community colleges to trade schools, there is a universe of opportunities out there after high school.

Use this guide to help your bright, capable teen shine in the college admissions process or confidently pursue other paths after high school. And download our free college readiness checklist at additu.de/college-check.

First, Look Inward

Higher Education Options

Demonstrated Interest

What About Testing?

Application Time

The Big Essay

College Admissions Process for ADHD Students: Next Steps

• Read: College Application Timeline — A Grade-by-Grade Guide
• Read: 4 Hallmarks of ADHD-Supportive Colleges
• Read: How to Prepare Your ADHD Teen for College, According to Research

Renee Minnich is a college consultant at Educational Connections, a tutoring and executive function coaching company.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

The most impactful teachers curiously investigate how each student processes information and learns. These educators tap into their own cognitive empathy to see another’s perspective, and their own affective empathy to feel what another is experiencing.

Research on affective empathy shows that the brain can mirror another person’s pain, but in a muted form. The brain is designed this way so that we are not incapacitated by others’ suffering. We’re alerted but clear-headed enough to find or render help. This is the neurological foundation of compassion, ethics, and community.

The brain can also try to imagine how other people see the world. This capacity, which we can strengthen by cultivating emotional awareness and deep listening skills, plus identifying personal biases and stress triggers, is where affective and cognitive empathy can truly support teachers in understanding and engaging their diverse students.

[Read: How SEL Skills Promote Emotional Self-Regulation]

Helping Kids Learn How to Unmask

But how can teachers use their cognitive and affective empathy when a student masks, or hides the ways they process information, think through problems, learn, and interact? Far too many neurodivergent students cover up who they are and how they learn because, early on, they found out that they didn’t fit in. They internalized the idea that their differences were faults, and elected to keep them hidden. Masking by autistic students and those with ADHD can hide fatigue, anxiety, learning struggles, stress, emotional intensity, and more.

How can teachers encourage neurodivergent students to remove their masks and show up in a more authentic way? Start by reminding students that every single person on the planet has a unique brain and we’re all on a journey to learn how our brains work.

Weaving this theme into daily discussions may trigger conversation about our unique ways of seeing, processing, and learning while reflecting on all the ways we get wired by society. It will open the door to talking about neuroplasticity and the capacity of our brains to change. And it should encourage students to share what helps them learn and what blocks them. You’ll see your students start working with their brains, not against them.

[Read: Teaching Strategies for Students with ADHD – Ideas to Help Every Child Shine]

Here are some other ways teachers can cultivate cognitive and affective empathy to help students unmask:

• Practice active listening skills, including awareness about your body language and tone.
• Validate students’ feelings.
• Ask open-ended questions, such as “How did that work for you?”
• Understand diverse perspectives and envision experiences beyond what you know.
• Manage your own emotions and practice self-care to avoid empathy fatigue.

Cognitive Empathy & Emotional Awareness: Next Steps

• Download: What Every Teacher Should Know About ADHD: A Poster for School
• Read: 15 Ways to Calm Down a Triggered Student
• Read: The Untapped Power of Social-Emotional Learning

Jennifer Fraser, Ph.D., is a former teacher and the author of five books.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

The prerequisites to learning are straightforward: calm and confidence. When students don’t feel emotionally supported, they freeze, shut down, or become overwhelmed — even when they have the skills to succeed.

To help your students navigate emotional blocks and remain motivated to learn, try these methods:

Dismantle Perfection

To illustrate how perfectionism and other emotions impact learning, ask your students:

• What do you wish your teachers understood about how you’re feeling?
• What is unpleasant about the task?
• What story are you telling yourself about the task and your abilities? What expectations are you holding?
• What makes it hard to start?

[Get This Download: How to Teach Children with ADHD — Classroom Challenges & Solutions]

Level Set

Perfectionists tend to overrate most tasks as critically important — a pattern of thinking that causes overwhelm and task paralysis. Use a ratings scale to help students gauge the true importance of a task.

Restore Control

Have your students prepare “If I ___, then I can/will” statements to help them stay engaged during tough moments. Examples include:

• If I have a difficult exam coming up, I will create a detailed study plan.
• If I panic about time during a test, I can ground myself using my five senses.
• When the test begins, I will start my breathing exercise.
• If it’s too loud in class, I can put on noise-canceling headphones.

Prioritize a Safe Learning Environment

Foster a supportive learning environment by recognizing and honoring the different types of learners in your classroom with these practices:

• Regularly remind students that it’s OK to ask for information to be repeated and to make mistakes while learning. Make these and similar reassurances part of your classroom rules and expectations.
• Present information in different formats.
• Allow students time to process new information before moving on.
• Remind your students that you know they’re working hard.

Highlight Strengths

Find ways to help your students spend part of their day pursuing an interest, talent, or strength. Doing so provides a much-needed break that helps regulate emotions and restores a sense of competence amid the daily stress of learning.

[Get This Download: 10 Teaching Strategies that Help Students with ADHD]

The Emotional Learning Ladder

Putting it all together, help your students understand their emotional state and find ways to re-engage with learning using the following visual tool. Encourage them to come up with their own descriptions, personal triggers, and strategies for returning to a calm Level 1 resting point.

Supportive Learning Environment: Next Steps

• Download: 30 Great Accommodations for Children with ADHD
• Read: Teaching Strategies for Students with ADHD: Ideas to Help Every Child Shine
• Read: The Educator’s Guide to Executive Functions: How to Understand and Support Students in Need

Gena VanderMeulen is an academic and ADHD coach at the ADHD Center of West Michigan.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

Failure is rarely an intentional choice. When a student’s report card includes less-than-stellar grades, the problem is seldom rooted in laziness or lack of motivation.

Disappointing grades tank confidence. The faster your student’s grades bounce back, the less self-esteem damage they will endure. Here’s how to help your student quickly recover and escape the poor-grades-low-motivation doom loop to regain their academic confidence.

Lead with Curiosity

• Approach the problem like teammates. Sit side-by-side as you calmly broach the subject. Instead of, “You got a bad grade again,” try, “I noticed you’re struggling in science. Tell me what’s going on.” Ask: “What can we do about this together?”
• Encourage self-reflection. Understanding what went well and how to improve outcomes is a real skill. To bolster this ability, ask questions like, “You studied really hard for that math test. Tell me what got in your way.” Or say, “What might you do differently next time?”
• Avoid revoking privileges over poor grades, as this may cause resentment and more resistance.

[Read: How to Establish Learning Habits That Pay Dividends]

Identify Root Causes

Disappointing grades come down to lagging executive function skills, knowledge gaps, or both. If a knowledge gap is to blame, pinpoint content holes and revisit concepts. Teachers, classmates, tutors, and coaches can speed up with process.

• Ask instructors whether accommodations could help make the curriculum more accessible.
• Have students preview upcoming lessons to build interest, engagement, and comprehension.

Support Executive Functions

Planning, time management, and other skills take longer to develop in students with learning differences. Caregivers and educators can compensate for this delay by doing the following:

[Read: “These Classroom Accommodations Really Helped My Child”]

• For each subject, ask, “How does your teacher announce assignments, due dates, and tests? What’s the process for handing in work?” Write important dates on a calendar. The result is sure to reveal gaps in your student’s knowledge about individual classroom steps.
• If your student has a test on Friday, ask what might get in the way of their studying on Thursday and how they can plan accordingly.
• If forgetting to hand in completed work is an issue, your student’s IEP could state that teachers must request homework from them, for example.

Above all, remember that grades rarely reflect the full effort invested by neurodivergent students, and they never measure your child’s intelligence, predict their success, or define them as a person.

How to Help a Child with ADHD in School: Next Steps

• Read: 6 Hacks for Homework Overwhelm
• Read: Best Classroom Supports for ADHD
• Read: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Do Well

Ann Dolin, Ed.M., is founder and president of Educational Connections in Alexandria, Virginia.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

One afternoon, I sat at my kitchen table in tears. I didn’t want to cry — I did everything I could to stop the tears, but they came anyway. My youngest child had just told me she wished I would put on my headphones to listen to my music instead of playing it through our Bluetooth speakers.

Totally harmless comment. No big deal, right? Not with rejection sensitivity.

When my kids were born, I had all these ideas about the kind of home I wanted them to grow up in. One of those ideas? A home filled with music. It was a memory I wanted them to carry and share with their own kids. Something I thought would be joyful.

As dramatic as it sounds, it hurt to hear that my dream for my daughter’s childhood was basically an annoyance. I reflected on years past when she did dance and sing with me in the kitchen, which only made the pain worse. But I made sure my daughter knew I was just sad about the situation, not upset at her.

[Read: It’s OK to Cry — and Other Lessons from a Sensitive Mom with ADHD]

Parenthood with rejection sensitivity means navigating many benign yet painful moments, knowing that our children don’t mean harm. Babies can make us feel rejected when they cry and cry and nothing we’re doing is soothing them. We feel rejected when our toddlers turn away from us, though we know we are their entire world.

Rejection sensitivity hits harder as they become older. They become embarrassed to be seen with us. The hugs get fewer and farther between. They test boundaries, disapprove of our decisions, and reject advice from us as they practice independence. They accuse us – the people who want nothing but their happiness – of not wanting them to have fun or be happy. They don’t yet realize how deeply their words sink. In many ways, our children can unintentionally make us feel like we’re falling short.

How to Parent with Rejection Sensitivity

1. Broaden your view.
My therapist told me that practically all parents struggle with feelings of inadequacy. After all, there are an infinite number of ways to be a good parent. Yet we tend to focus on the things we can’t do, and that convinces us that we’ve fallen short.

2. Stop mind reading.
If your child happens to point out that, hey, all their friends get to play baseball so why can’t they, and the reason is that you don’t have the money to pay for both baseball and cello and you chose cello, it can feel like your child is saying your parenting is not good enough.

[Read: How to Control Your Emotions and RSD in Real Time]

That isn’t what they’re saying. What they’re saying is, they want to play baseball. Notice when you’re developing a story out of nothing, and focus on the evidence.

3. Practice letting go (and practice some more).
Living with AuDHD, I often fall into the trap of taking everything people say, including the things said by my children, literally and to heart. And because I have those delightful additional negative messages in my brain from when I was a child, it is not easy to convince myself that I should brush it off and let it go. But I’ve gotten better at it.

As an adult, I have the ability and responsibility to look at the things my children say through the lens of them being teenagers – with developing brains and unstable hormones – and me being the grown-up.

When warranted, I tell my children their comment was hurtful or uncalled for, but I don’t let it settle into my heart.

4. Regulate and return.
Rejection sensitivity means that I sometimes have to walk away from a conversation with the promise to come back to it later, when I’m calmer. Sometimes it means switching to communicating through text so I don’t blurt out anything I don’t mean. Sometimes it means processing my feelings privately or with my therapist. I’ll go for a walk until my anger or frustration simmer, as losing my temper will help no one.

When I walk away or pause, I make sure my children know that I’m trying to regulate – not that I’m walking away from them.

My job isn’t to never feel rejected. My job is to make sure my rejection sensitivity doesn’t trigger a negative cycle that becomes theirs to handle.

Rejection Sensitivity and Parenting: Next Steps

• Read: “4 Rules for Taking a Mom Rage Break”
• Read: “My Child’s Short Fuse Lights My Short Fuse.”
• Read: How to Stop Emotional Distress from Snowballing

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

“He’s bright,” a middle school teacher told me of her student last fall. “When I talk to him one-on-one, he understands everything. But in class? He just freezes. By the time he starts working on one problem, we’re already on to the next one.”

I hear variations of this story everywhere now. Teachers tell me students can’t keep up with the pace. School psychologists describe capable kids who suddenly seem fragile. Parents describe homework meltdowns that seem disproportionate to the assignment.

For years, our field has focused primarily on behavior and attention when discussing neurodivergent learners. Then the conversation expanded to executive function. What I’m seeing now feels more nuanced. We are watching students accelerating toward a collision of slow processing speed, weak working memory, and chronic cognitive overload inside classrooms. And many educators and clinicians feel unprepared for the aftermath.

[Read: Is Slow Processing Speed the Same as ADHD?]

Processing speed shapes a student’s daily experience more than we acknowledge. It is not about intelligence or effort. It is simply the rate at which a student can take in information, make sense of it, and respond.

How Slow Processing Erodes Confidence

In fast-paced classrooms, speed is often mistaken for competence. The students who answer first are assumed to understand best. The students who pause are assumed to struggle. That misinterpretation reshapes how children see themselves.

When classroom pacing increases, students with slower processing speeds experience a quiet but relentless strain. By the time they begin, they’re already behind. By the time they have formulated an answer, the class has moved on.

[Read: What Is Slow Processing Speed?]

Repeated often enough, that lag erodes confidence. Students begin protecting themselves. They avoid eye contact. They disengage before they can be exposed. From the outside, this can look like apathy or avoidance. On the inside, it feels like trying to merge onto a busy highway that never slows down.

Therapists see the emotional aftermath: anxiety, avoidance, shame, or a growing belief that “I’m just not good at school.” Educators see the academic slowdown and incomplete work. Parents see the evening meltdowns and resistance. All are responding to the same root cause from different vantage points.

Aligning Expectations with Capacity

Educators ask me why this seems more intense now than it did a decade ago. Students are not fundamentally different, but the classroom environment is. The pace has increased.

Academic expectations have intensified. Students are coping with more information with less downtime and fewer breaks.

The impact is academic — and physiological. When students face repeated cognitive overload, their nervous systems respond. Stress narrows attention, reduces flexible thinking, and impairs memory retrieval. The very systems the classroom depends on become harder to access under pressure.

An overwhelmed student may freeze during timed writing, or they may melt down over what appears to be a small demand. Teachers often feel responsible for the behavior.

Therapists may focus on emotional regulation strategies. Parents may double down on structure or consequences. Yet, if the cognitive load itself remains unchanged, the cycle continues.

The goal is not to lower expectations. It is to align expectations with neurological capacity while skills develop. When cognitive friction is reduced, participation increases. When working memory demands are scaffolded, confidence grows. When pace allows for processing students who once froze begin to respond.

How to Reduce Students’ Cognitive Load

For Teachers

• Change the routine. Rather than collecting quizzes immediately upon completion, consider asking students to quietly turn over their finished papers and engage in independent reading. This eases subtle pressure on slower processors, reduces distraction, and avoids giving faster students the unintended advantage of a head start on the next task.
• Supplement verbal directions. Whenever possible, provide written steps in addition to verbal instructions. Even a simple two- or three-step list on the board reduces working memory strain and prevents students from falling behind.
• Build in “processing pauses.” After asking a question, intentionally wait longer than feels comfortable. Research consistently shows that increased wait time improves participation and accuracy, especially for slow processors.

For Parents

• Reduce after-school load. Many students arrive home cognitively depleted. Before jumping into homework reminders, allow for decompression.
• Externalize what needn’t live in memory. If your child repeatedly forgets multi-step instructions, use visual checklists, give written instructions, and post the steps in routines to free up mental bandwidth.
• Separate time pressure from skill-building. If a child is consistently slow to start, experiment with removing time prompts while they are learning the process. Skill development improves when the brain isn’t simultaneously managing stress about speed.

Cognitive Overload & Processing Speed: Next Steps

• Read: 6 Hacks for Homework Overwhelm
• Watch: “When Emotions Block Learning for Students with ADHD”
• Quiz: Can You Distinguish Between ADHD and Learning Disabilities?
• Read: Meltdowns Happen – 7 Healthy Ways to Respond

Cindy Goldrich, ED.M., is a mental health counselor, ADHD certified clinical service provider, and teacher trainer.

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Executive function skills help us plan, prioritize, regulate emotions, sequence actions, and follow through toward a future goal. These brain-based skills power everything from starting homework to managing frustration to remembering materials.

But here’s what many families miss: Executive functioning (EF) starts with a regulated nervous system and the ability to picture the end result of a task or goal.

Think Regulation First

When the brain is overwhelmed, EF weakens. A stressed brain struggles to plan, stay flexible, manage emotions, and start tasks. That’s why kids often procrastinate, shut down, or become reactive when demands feel too big. It’s also why parents tend to rush, react emotionally, and repeat themselves.

[Free Self-Test: Could Your Child Have an Executive Function Deficit?]

Before we can help build EF skills in our kids, we must help them feel calm enough to access them. Slowing down verbal directions, reducing urgency, using predictable routines, and helping kids transition gradually can improve the brain’s ability to problem-solve and follow through.

Envision the Result

Kids with strong EF can picture the fruits of their labor before they begin. Many children with EF weaknesses struggle to create that internal roadmap. This is why telling a child to do their homework can backfire. Their brain can’t yet organize the path between where they are and where they need to go.

Start helping your child picture the outcome. Say something like: “What should your finished science project look like?” Talk with them about the title, the images that may be added, and the materials needed to finish the project. Then break tasks into smaller actions to reduce overwhelm while strengthening planning, sequencing, working memory, and follow-through.

Model Co-Regulation

Kids learn EF through modeling, co-regulation, and guided repetition. That means parents need to practice these skills too. Pausing before reacting and focusing on the outcome instead of the immediate frustration is one of the most powerful EF habits parents can build.

[Free Download: 4 Secrets to Motivating Children with ADHD]

Instead of thinking: “Why can’t my child just do this?”

Shift to: “What outcome am I trying to create here?”

Instead of reacting by saying: “We’re late again!”

Shift to: “Lets slow down and figure out what still needs to happen.”

Instead of asking: “Why are you melting down?”

Shift to: “Your brain seems overloaded right now. Let’s regulate.”

EF is not about being naturally organized or motivated; it’s a set of skills that families can strengthen together over time.

Nervous System Regulation Techniques: Next Steps

• Free Download: Common Executive Function Challenges — and Solutions
• Read: How to Sharpen Executive Functions: Activities to Hone Brain Skills
• Read: How to Activate Your Child’s Internal GPS
• Free Series: ADHD @ School — A Class for Parents

Roseann Capanna-Hodge, Ed.D., is a therapist, school psychologist, and author of The Dysregulated Kid. (#CommissionsEarned)

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.

ADHD affects the ability to pause, reflect, and evaluate behavior in real time. Because of this delay, a 12-year-old with ADHD may be operating with the self-awareness of a nine-year-old child.

This delay shows up both academically and socially. A student may insist they “studied a lot” when they reread notes but did not actively practice or test themselves. Socially, they may miss cues like tone, facial expressions, or conversation shifts. They may interrupt, overtalk or struggle to take another person’s perspective without realizing how they’re coming across. As a result, they may get labeled careless or disruptive, struggle to maintain friendships, and feel left out by peers.

Over time, repeated correction without understanding creates frustration and shame. Without self-awareness, those feelings can quickly become deeply ingrained. The good news is that this executive function can be explicitly taught by:

Pinpointing strengths. When students receive negative feedback, they often avoid self-reflection. Parents and teachers can help students identify positive attributes and development opportunities through tools like a strengths inventory.

Helping students identify how they learn best. Work with them to create a simple one-page snapshot that names their learning style, executive function strengths and challenges, and preferred strategies. When students build it themselves, this inventory creates ownership, clarity, and a foundation for self-advocacy.

Modeling responses. Give students a script before they need it. Rehearse phrases like, “It’s hard for me to focus when there’s a lot of noise” or “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I got excited.” Practiced language lowers the barrier between feeling something and communicating it.

Revisiting situations that go sideways. Whether a student misreads a social cue or completely shuts down, they can learn something valuable from the experience. Walk them back through what triggered their response, what the other person might have been experiencing, and what they could try next time. That kind of structured reflection, done calmly and consistently well after the event, builds self-awareness more than any in-the-moment correction ever will.

Self-Awareness for Kids with ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Checklist: Common Executive Function Challenges — and Solutions
• Read: A 6-Step Plan for Teaching ADHD Self-Advocacy Skills
• Read: A Daily Plan to Practice Empowering Self-Talk

Brooke Schnittman is an ADHD coach, coach trainer, speaker, and the author of Activate Your ADHD Potential.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.