Q: “My 7th grader with ADHD and autism was suspended from school numerous times last year. He hates school and saw the suspensions as a reward. How can I prevent this from happening this year?”

As someone who has worked in a school for 15 years, I know that this is tough. Consequences must exist for breaking rules, but, often, kids want to be home, and so school suspension is not a punishment or deterrent. Having them stay at home, where they have access to the things they want, is not going to teach them a lesson, nor will it make them want to go back to school

I recommend talking to the teacher, counselor, or school administrators and asking them to consider alternative consequences. Perhaps they could enforce a logical consequence tied to the negative behavior or choice your son made in school. This would be more clear and impactful than simply sending him home.

If administrators are not willing to make exceptions or adjustments to school policies, that may be a sign that your child doesn’t belong at that school. Educators should be willing to have this conversation, and more schools need to consider replacing knee-jerk suspension policies with more logical consequences.

[On-Demand Webinar: School Avoidance & Refusal Strategies for Parents and Educators]

Q: “My college student with ADHD has been avoiding going to class. How can I help them?”

First, make sure you understand the reason for this behavior. Is your student skipping class due to poor executive functioning, anxiety over taking notes, trouble studying for exams, or something else? If the root cause is academic, many colleges offer support for kids who have ADHD and learning challenges, but these supports are not always known to the students. When I work with families or students in college, I always advise them to research those resources.

As school begins, I urge students to self-advocate by meeting with the accessibility office and asking how they can get support. If taking lecture notes overwhelms a student, for example, many colleges offer note-taking and tutoring programs, as well as writing assistance.

Once you’ve identified the problem, encourage your student to investigate available supports and pursue the ones that can clear the runway for learning.

Suspended from School: Next Steps

• Read: “Help! My Child Won’t Go to School”
• Read: When Emotions Hijack Learning
• Download: Solving Challenges in the Classroom
• Sign Up: ADHD @ School — A Free 10-Part Class for Parents

Alana Cooperman, LCSW, is a senior social worker at the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute.

ADDITUDE IS HUMAN
Artificial intelligence does not create or edit any written content published by ADDitude. Our editorial team is 100% human, and our mission is simple: listen to and serve our readers with hand-crafted, expert-informed resources. To support ADDitude, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our commitment possible. Thank you.